My new anthem

So what happens when you're told as a belly dancer that there will be a show coming up but the catch is not using belly dance music. Well, the wheels start turning, you consider all the possibilities and then--wham--inspiration hits.

Last fall when Austin Belly Dance Association announced a "Jukebox" belly dance show in January, I was excited about the possibility. My students were more than eager, and their music suggestions were numerous, varied and frankly a little overwhelming. I was torn between something jazzy and a Janet Jackson song when a little bit of serendipity came into play.

The lovely Naima, who's blog I read on a regular basis, posted a video with this song. Seriously, it was like God speaking to me when I watched it (maybe not in such a serious tone)...but it felt like divine inspiration. I've always loved this song and I've always wanted to perform it, but never had the right venue, or the right group of dancers...until now.

So here we are three months later, the show is this Friday and damn! It's been all-consuming, between the practices and the costumes (wow...the costumes...including fedoras), but it has been , uplifting and so inspirational. And yes, I stole several of Michael's moves for the performance (in particular see minute 2:37 below). We've got ten dancers, we're closing a really big show at the Dougherty Arts Center and we're going to kick butt. I've never seen a group of women so excited about what they are performing, wearing, and the amount of cleavage involved.

I've decided this is my anthem for the new year. So if you see me and wonder how I'm feeling, please refer the clip below.

What I Did on Summer Vacation

Whew, long...long time in posting. Life's been busy and very tumultuous. So, here's the short list on what I did this summer.

1. Rushed from the end of Mirage season into workshops, performances and teaching.
2. Decided spur of the moment to get some professional pics taken, and then decided to make a new costume in less than 10 days.
3. Realized that my belly dancing rut had more to do with life in general and decided it may be time to make some changes, big changes.
4. Decided I wanted to take a sabbatical from Mirage in the fall, and re-group.
5. Discovered the Artist's Way and realized it may just be what I needed to restart my creative juices.
6. Found an Artist's Way group starting the book in September...and joined them.
7. Was invited to join Bahaia and Stacey Lizette in a twice a year student recital, that we named "The Hip Circle Hafla" in which performances would be limited to our students.
8. Joined forces with Jamie Lynn to create a one-day costume workshop to teach people how to make and alter cabaret-style costumes.
9. Announced to Mirage that I would be taking a sabbatical...interesting and enlightening conversations ensued, then...
10. Decided to quit the troupe after 8.5 years as a member.

I felt like I ended a long-term relationship when I wasn't quite ready to make that change. I cried, I felt alone...and then I felt inspired and invigorated. When I started this blog I intended to have stories beyond just reviews of the show. How ironic, that now it is really about me finding out who I am as a dancer outside of Mirage.

Mirage was the place I got my 'hips' wet, performed my first solos, directed my first choreographies, was given the opportunity to teach, and above all else, the honor of meeting and dancing with so many wonderful women. Now, I get to learn if I am more than just a member of the troupe. How fitting this blog title now seems!

Problems with Posing

The last week has been a whirlwind. I completed a costume for a photo shoot I had lined up and that alone seemed like a race to the finish line. The photo shoot was an impulse event spurred on solely by the fact that a really wonderful dance photographer was going to be in Austin for a couple of days only. Pixie is her name, and very cool photos are her game.

I knew I had less than ten days to get everything ready to go. Although I knew I couldn't lose 20 pounds in that time, I wanted to feel completely confident and fabulous. The costume was more work than expected but came out wonderfully. I tried waxing my underarms for the first time (ungodly painful....but actually worth it), did my nails (which means I can't type fast right now), and even practiced eye make up applications several times.

I spent so much time working on the logistics I forgot about the emotional and physical sides of this. I've done shoots before but they were much more posed and choreographed. Imagine my surprise then when she wanted me to move more, but not in the way I was used to dancing. Every little nuance that would work on stage looked really bad on film, which now explains why my dance photos rarely turn out!

Between her barking out instructions and my mind rushing to interpret them, somewhere along the way my self-confidence and ego were just shattered. I felt overwhelmed, stiff, uncomfortable and awkward. Even my hands didn't know how to behave! I'm known for my graceful hand and arm movements but apparently they took the day off. It was an incredibly long hour and I truly felt stripped, exposed and not very joyful.

That one hour taught me more about where I need to improve as a dancer than any workshop I've ever attended. It was such a hard lesson to learn and not at all what my ego was expecting this week. She wanted joy, but I fell short. She wanted smouldering, and I fizzled. She wanted warrior and I wimped out. She wanted confidence and grace and I had none. In the end I felt like I had run a marathon without the endorphin rush.

I did learn that what translates on stage doesn't always translate to photos. You can make grand sweeping gestures, flick your hair or dazzle people with spins, however one on one with a camera those moves don't matter, they don't count and they don't work. I learned yesterday that I hide behind a variety of moves in my dance that may not always serve me well. So, my work is to let go of them, explore different movement and really assess how I want to be perceived as a dancer.

In the meantime, I do have some lovely photos to enjoy. I walked away with over 200 photos taken, about 35 that I'm pondering, and I'll end up with 12-15 that will be edited for publicity purposes. So, there were moments where I triumphed, where I hit the mark, where I was completely in the moment but it sure took a lot of work to get there!

Moving along...

Well, I have five days left in my quest to make a costume in time for a photo shoot. Although it doesn't seem like I'm very far along, I do believe I'm over the hump. Personally, I think the bra construction is really time consuming in order to get a good fit. Once that is done and it's covered, then the decorating can begin. I really should have starting taking pictures from the beginning, but here are a couple of shots so you can see the behind the curtain. The first one is just the back of the bra strap. This, along with the inside of the bra will be lined with felt (so you can sweat in it) at the very end. I tried to make my corner as neat as possible.

Here's the insider of the bra. I just happened to find a pink bra (maybe that was a sign) but really, it could have been any color you just need to worry about shape and fit. The original straps and elastic on the sides have been replaced by buckram and grosgrain ribbon, covered in fabric and then stitched down. Not so pretty on the inside, but very functional. I've also made numerous adjustments to the fit at this stage of the game because it's much harder to do once you've covered it.

The infamous beading? Well, here it is in this photo. The color is a little wonky on the close up but you can see the trim. This is going around the edges of the bra, belt and arm cuffs. The bra, including all edges and lines was about 120 inches of beading. The beads are in sets of six sitting on top of each other in a semi-herringbone pattern. By my calculations, I used over 5,000 seed beads to complete the bra. The belt won't take nearly as much!

Here's a shot of the trim that will be going on the costume. I'm not beading the entire thing, but I have loads of these chains. They are actually rhinestone belts that I snatched up on sale at Kohl's last year (go figure). My plan was to finish adding them to the bra tonight, but I can't seem to find my pliers so that may be tomorrow's plan.

In the meantime, I got my skirt fixed (thanks D'Anne) and received my L-Rose arm bands and belt I'll use on my base. Those should be easy to get through hopefully. Finally, in the absence of trying to bead, I worked on my technique for drawing leopard spots on myself. There's certainly a plan here (not related to the photos), and it's quite fun. In fact, this is the first time I could really imagine myself with a tattoo...hmmm...

Next posts should have some really cool bra photos and perhaps a semi-finished costume!